Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A phenomenon I don't quite understand....

It’s time I come clean and announce that I…um…ahem…I’m not a huge fan of the Twilight series. (Please don’t come through cyber space and attempt to change my mind by showing your fangs and biting my neck. It won’t work.)

I will admit that I read all of them, yes, and at times did quite enjoy the story BUT I finished them more out of a resolve to follow through on something I started. I’m weird that way…If I’ve start a story I can’t leave it alone. I HAVE to know what happens, no matter how dull or tasteless it may be. I know, I know…it’s not good, it really isn’t! I should be able to just leave it alone, especially if I don’t like it but, alas, I have wasted far too many minutes of my life “finishing” an episode of Law and Order or Say Yes to the Dress when my original intent was to merely take a 15 minute “veg out” break. Well, the same goes with the Twilight Novels.

That was the reason I finished the books…I just had to KNOW! So I slodged through countless pages of hormonally driven narratives describing Edwards “untidy, bronze hair” and his “piercing eyes” and Jacobs “hot, muscular body” and oh yea…she might have mentioned Edwards, “shimmery, marbled, greek-god” chest a few times. Yes, I did skip a lot…I mean quite a bit! 20-30 pages at a time, multiple times, and let me tell you…it wasn’t difficult to figure out what I missed. It got to the point that by the last book, still hanging on to that obstinate resolves to know how it ends, I asked my mom to tell me what happened in the first 400 pages and I started from there. Good. Choice. I didn’t feel like I skipped a beat.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think Stephenie Meyer is great and I give her a lot of credit. Heaven knows I couldn’t write one 700 page novel let alone 4 but nevertheless…I am honestly puzzled by the HUGE fad. I mean HUH-UUGE fad!! What’s the draw?

Perhaps I can grasp why pre-teen girl-itos would really dig the cutesy Jacob or maybe even why the hopelessly romantic college-aged twenty-something’s may be enamored with Edward’s mysterious perfection but what really confuses me are all the “twi-moms” out there. I’m not just talking the late 20’s to early 30’s with little kids. I’m talking about the 45 + year old women who, like the woman I saw last Friday, proudly wear their black “Eternally Edward” t-shirt while clutching New Moon protectively to her chest as they stand in line at Walmart desperately asking the checker if he was sure they didn’t sell any customized Twilight heart candy. Maybe someone can explain it to me, but I just don’t get it.

11 comments:

cari said...

So I'll come out of the closet too. I am not a big fan either and couldn't manage to read more than the first book. Glad to know I'm not the only one. Have you read the hunger games series? Much better in my opinion.

Gregg and Jaclyn said...

I totally agree 100 percent. I only got through the first two. I read the second one just to give it a second chance but that one was more monotonous than the first. I know what you mean about a lot of skipping. It's not too bad of a story idea but I'm not sure it is so great that it deserves all the hype. I can't figure out the draw either.

Heidi and Ben Daniel said...

Emily, we're in a fight. Okay, not really. But I am SO a Twilight fan. Yes, the books are poorly written, but I am a sucker for a good love story. And Edward and Bella have the ultimate story. Therefore, I love the books. The way Edward loves Bella so strongly and unconditionally....I just love it. However, I'm glad to say that I'm not a CRAZED fan. Just semi crazed :-)
P.S. You should read The Host and the Hunger Games series.

Bryan and Natalie said...

Disgusting, is what it is.

Ryan and Erin said...

Thank You Emily!!! I read the first two and also wanted to find out what happens, so I just went to wikipedia and it gives the whole synopsis in a paragraph. I did not miss a thing!!

For all those that just need a good love story, TRY JANE AUSTIN!!!!!

natabird said...

I HATE twilight. I read the first three books like you, just to see what happened. When the 4th one came out I boycotted. Michael and I did go see the movie b/c we got free tickets. It made me want to die. After the movie Michael said, "That is the first time I've been to a free movie and still feel like I've been ripped off."

So, you're not alone in your dislike of twilight.

Gina said...

Emily! I'm so glad I found your blog! Now I'm going to have to start blog stalking you. haha (This is Gina D by the way, from I.S.)

Cindy said...

I knew I raised you right!! I agree ten-fold!

HoorayforHansons said...
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HoorayforHansons said...
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Andrea Jolene said...

Ah ha ha ha ha! Oh man, I just can't comment on this because you know my rant about the whole thing... and it involves snobbish critiques and a plethora of eye rolls. I slodged through it via book on CD too - and now that I've read it - I feel I can safely vomit on it ;) I do credit the creativity though. Very clever (all be it lucrative) idea.